Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Inevitability of Tomorrow
Adams was unaware the Resistance recruiting him was commanded by his mother he hadn't seen in thirty years; he was uncertain the true enemy in the 'Inevitability of Tomorrow' was the State justices downloading thought controls to their citizens, he was unbelieving that his fight for freedom and struggle for survival would create a new human species that would threaten the very existence of mankind in the 21st. century.
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I had to read this one three times, it was too much to take in all at once. I would end the first sentence at Mother.
ReplyDeleteAdams was unaware the Resistance was commanded by his mother. He hadn't seen her in thirty years.
I agree with Tanya. It's a bit of a run on sentence and I think the first section is compelling.
ReplyDeleteNice work - keep at it!